My awesome girlfriend broke up with me.

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thread starter Russisch Aug 10 2010 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

I've never had this happen before. I mean, I've never really had any other girlfriends. But... wow, I never thought it would suck this bad. [quote] She : Dear Elliot, Okay, let me first start off by saying I know how lame this is. But I�ve been thinking about this and I can�t think of a better way to do this for either of us. So first off, I�m gonna be really blunt just so there are no miscommunications, but I want to explain as well. We have been together for just over 2 months now and I can honestly say that you are one of the best boyfriends I�ve ever had. But no matter how much I don�t want to do this, I don�t feel the same way I did for you in the beginning. I know we already said we would breakup when I go to college, but I think we�ve kind of been spreading apart the closer it gets and I can�t stand knowing you like me so much and knowing I don�t like you equally anymore. So I don�t think we should date anymore. I am so so so so sorry. I know breaking up over email is supposed to be like the most horrible way to do it other than texting, and in that sense I know this is really, really lame. But thinking back over my past relationships, I think that at least for me on the receiving end it was always the easiest. You aren�t stuck with the person afterwards. The person can�t hear or see how you react to the news. I don�t know if that�s how you feel too but I wanted to make this as easy on both of us as I could so just know that I�m doing this because I�m a chicken and stupid. Also, It�s not that I don�t still think you are amazing, and fun to be around, but the whole romantic boyfriend girlfriend thing has just faded for me. I don�t know why, and I honestly don�t think you had anything to do with it. I�m just crazy I guess�.I don�t know. But you have been one of my best friends and I really hope you�ll still be friends with me. But of course that�s up to you. Thinking back on our relationship, I think that we clicked really well as friends. For some reason, being in a �relationship� always changes things. And in our case, I think it made it a little weirder. Maybe we were just meant to stay friends? Or maybe I�m just crazy. Or maybe we�ll end up getting married? I don�t know. I just know that it kills me to talk to you and feel how much you like me and know that I don�t feel the same anymore. Anyways, this was a really long speech to say something fairly simple, but I am your first girlfriend and I want you to know that this is nothing against you, but sometimes things just don�t work out how you want them to. Also, I don�t want to ruin you, because you honestly are amazing, and I wish more than anything that I could keep feeling the way I used to and marry you and have amazing musician children and invest in houses with you and we could live happily ever after. I�m sorry. I hope we can stay friends. Good friends. Love, </x//x/xx/x//@#$@#%@3 [/quote] She was SO AWESOME. I mean, not like, "man, we had sex every night and she" no, I'm not stupi

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Russisch + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

[quote] Brainfrezze : Suck it up. Damn...She brought up college...and you're making maple story threads about how sad you are. Grow up and realize that when one door closes, more open. Sure it sucks, but it obviously wasn't suppose to happen. Everyone's first girlfriend is the hardest to get over. Especially since the overwhelmed feeling of having a significant other forces you to mistake it for love. All i gotta say is, no point to be overly sad over it. It's a pet peeve of mine when i see people totally depressed when something like this happens. Life's a biitch, and it always will be. Consult your friends and spend time with them. They'll make you feel better quickly. Screw her and good luck to you sir. Go get em' tiger [/quote] I've already noted how lame it is to be posting this in Basil. I never said I was in love with her. I was certainly not in love with her, though I sure did like her a lot. Since I'm not age 25, I'm fairly confident that my brain hasn't opened up the correct neuro-circuitry that allows me to actually feel love towards somebody other than my direct family or pets; i.e., my ex-girlfriend. [quote] Hoopla123 : something about bed [/quote] We were never IN bed. This isn't about sex. This whole thread has nothing to do with sex.

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ardin12345 08/10/10 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

Yeah. At least she explained why she was breaking up with you. My first gf cheated on me in clear sight. But dude. I feel bad for you man. Idk man. Just give yourself some alone time and try to get over it. The first break up is usually the worst

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Brainfrezze 08/10/10 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

[quote=Russisch]I've already noted how lame it is to be posting this in Basil. I never said I was in love with her. I was certainly not in love with her, though I sure did like her a lot. Since I'm not age 25, I'm fairly confident that my brain hasn't opened up the correct neuro-circuitry that allows me to actually feel love towards somebody other than my direct family or pets; i.e., my ex-girlfriend. No hate on sharing your feelings. So..what you're saying is that you're unable to embrace the feeling of love until age 25? Stupid way to look at it. Once again...first GF. Most of the time, it doesn't work out anyways. and...2 months is nothing. If it was like a 1 year thing...perhaps some mourning. Also, this " i really really liked her" came from you finally being looked at as more then a friend and took advantage of it with everything you had, therefore making the emotions 10 fold themselves.

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BungieMonkey + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

Ah man. This thread actually hit my heart. I'm in a similar situation however theres no break up. Shes in Europe for 3 weeks so I can't talk to her but for every detail you just describe is pretty much exactly me.

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Russisch 08/10/10 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

[quote] Brainfrezze : Russisch : I've already noted how lame it is to be posting this in Basil. I never said I was in love with her. I was certainly not in love with her, though I sure did like her a lot. Since I'm not age 25, I'm fairly confident that my brain hasn't opened up the correct neuro-circuitry that allows me to actually feel love towards somebody other than my direct family or pets; i.e., my ex-girlfriend. [/quote] No hate on sharing your feelings. So..what you're saying is that you're unable to embrace the feeling of love until age 25? Stupid way to look at it. Once again...first GF. Most of the time, it doesn't work out anyways. and...2 months is nothing. If it was like a 1 year thing...perhaps some mourning. Also, this " i really really liked her" came from you finally being looked at as more then a friend and took advantage of it with everything you had, therefore making the emotions 10 fold themselves. Well, generally, up until that age, "love" is actually just your desire for sex. Age 25 is generally when males develop the pathways in their brain that are capable of comprehending love. Two months is TOTALLY something. It was time that I was very happy spending. Two months, one year... I don't think it'd have made a difference. Perhaps a little more rough of a break-up, but I think I'd still think of her as the amazing person I think of her now. Two months is a very valid period of time.

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azndragon101 08/10/10 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

A first love is always sweet, but it's also the most naive. It hurts like hell, and I'm not gonna lie and say that it goes away, but give it time and once you're emotionally ready, try dating again. You'd think one would get a bit more callous over these things, until you fall all over yourself for another girl -- except without the naivety being there -- then it just hurts more. . . .Hah.

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the1234 08/10/10 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

[quote] Russisch : Well, generally, up until that age, "love" is actually just your desire for sex. Age 25 is generally when males develop the pathways in their brain that are capable of comprehending love. Two months is TOTALLY something. It was time that I was very happy spending. Two months, one year... I don't think it'd have made a difference. Perhaps a little more rough of a break-up, but I think I'd still think of her as the amazing person I think of her now. Two months is a very valid period of time. [/quote] So until you're 25, love = wanting sex? Maybe for some people but I don't think most people feel that way. I think the main thing is people confuse being attracted to someone with actually loving someone. And I agree with the other guy. 2 months isn't that long.

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CowWhiskers 08/10/10 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

Man dude, you really felt for her this is better that those "so there's this girl" threads. This actually means something.

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MILEYooCYRUS 08/10/10 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

Well you were only dating for a couple months but it sounds more like you lost a best friend. They can be really tough to replace.. Just keep doing what you enjoy and don't let it have that big of an impact on your life. You're still young, what are you even 18 yet? Don't start to develop a lifestyle that seems like you are just waiting for a second chance with her. Breaking up is probably for the best anyways. If she didn't love you back as much as you loved her then she wasn't the right girl. You deserve better than a girl that doesn't love you equally.

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Brainfrezze 08/10/10 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

[quote] Russisch : No hate on sharing your feelings. So..what you're saying is that you're unable to embrace the feeling of love until age 25? Stupid way to look at it. Once again...first GF. Most of the time, it doesn't work out anyways. and...2 months is nothing. If it was like a 1 year thing...perhaps some mourning. Also, this " i really really liked her" came from you finally being looked at as more then a friend and took advantage of it with everything you had, therefore making the emotions 10 fold themselves. Well, generally, up until that age, "love" is actually just your desire for sex. Age 25 is generally when males develop the pathways in their brain that are capable of comprehending love. Two months is TOTALLY something. It was time that I was very happy spending. Two months, one year... I don't think it'd have made a difference. Perhaps a little more rough of a break-up, but I think I'd still think of her as the amazing person I think of her now. Two months is a very valid period of time. [/quote] I took the time to actually read your thread, i gave you my advice on how you should handle your situation. Personally, it's never failed me nor anyone else i've given advice to. Whatever choice you make will be the best. Also, my first post...was more of a snap back to reality and take a breath. Go back and read it. Try and relax and obviously don't let it come between you and your studies. Random fact....You loose contact with over 80% of the people you meet in high school. I keep thinking of things i wanna say but i'm to lazy to go back up to make it more fluent. So, back to what you said to how the human brain develops...it ties into immaturity. ( duh ), but is it really worth dating in high school since the majority of people have sex on the mind? Since it's such a f'ing big deal. -.-. ( sarcasm ). Wouldn't exactly find the commitment if you weren't fueled by something. aka...love. Imo, your theory needs some tweaking.

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FirezRage 08/10/10 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

i think you should go back to being friends with her and see how that progresses. she might develop those feelings for you again. that, or you could just become even better friends. so i think its a win-win situation either way? i hope you feel better :/. i know it really hurts, but you'll learn to get over it. at least you 2 can still keep in touch right? it's not like she broke up abruptly, leaving no reason and just ignored you. my mum always told me that 'as long as they're still un-married, you still have a chance'

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Rutaii 08/10/10 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

other fish in the sea man. She was awesome, but you'll find love again one day. you just gotta keep your head up and stay strong. This is actually serious advice, like omar this is the first break up thread that seriously got to me. So remember, there's always someone out there.

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aznm0nk3yx 08/10/10 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

I feel your pain man. I'm in the same situation as you right now brah. :'(.

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Russisch 08/10/10 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

Yeah... I don't think I can really take any advice on this, since (this is going to sound offensive, but it's not, I'm just speaking matter-of-fact-ly) you guys just don't know how our relationship was, or the way she is. With a night of sleep, I've gotten over it somewhat. I still think about how awesome she is, and then -slap- we're not together anymore. Dammmmmmmmit. Lol.

My Characters: TotallyPants - 81 Khaini Priest

Ninjenk 08/10/10 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

Don't feel bad about posting on Basil, there are people from all walks of life here. And don't be too down on yourself either, at least she liked you enough to tell you straight up.

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