"Real" Friends, Help?

basilmarket.com forums : Chat | 15 posts archived

thread starter MrPineapple Apr 20 2010 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

Yeah, I'm not usually like this but the last few days I've just lost patience with a lot of people. This winter I moved back home and have been living here for the past 4 or 5 months. The town has a population of just over 2000, a military community surrounded by what is fairly described as ignorant rednecks, who prefer to do nothing more than insult everyone else, brag about their pick up trucks and kill more of their limited brain cells. This community is a huge victim of the 'brain drain', where most of it's hopefuls migrating as far away from it as possible, leaving what little decent young adults are left. Saying that, I've had absolutely no problem making new friends and becoming reacquainted with old ones, but when it comes down to it, it's a near impossible task to find a decent group of people to have a good time with, and here's why. I make plans with a few friends who I've known for a few months, they either make up horrible excuses, or invite a few more friends to tag along, making these small events turn into a big group where they all know each other and I, the person who initially put forth the effort to arrange these plans, becomes the outcast or third wheel. It doesn't matter how many of them i get to know, it all becomes and overwhelming bash that ruins any hope for a relaxing and fun night. My older friends who are still around the area survive off of two things; getting baked in their slummed mobile trailers or apartments or get completely trashed at the bar. The kind of people that love to have you around but really only care about having someone to drink with. I've lost interest in the bar and club scene after University, and I now despise getting wrapped up in it, and usually am the one dragging my buddies home after some inevitable drama starts up. Never have a good night. Then there's the mass quantity of female friends, the majority of which have those controlling and over-jealous guys watching them every step, or the others who think every time a guy, friend or not, gives them any sign of a compliment they take it as a pass or an attempt to get with them. These are some people I talk to a lot and often connect with, but near impossible to actually have a night out with because of insecure boyfriends, or they do what I named in my first example, drag along more people I have no idea who they are. And of course there's those few anti-social and loner obsessed basement dwellers, who will only accept an invitation to a night out every blue moon, based around their WoW raids and sex chat rooms. And finally, there's the complete self-absorbed and ignorant friends, who stay completely loyal and always make time for you, but will walk all over you any chance they get. The people you can always guarantee to be there if you want to do something, but always end up making the night hell. So my point is, what the hell happened to having decent, loyal and appreciative friends? I feel like I have to drive 2 hours to the city just to h

My Characters: HumpsDragons - 53 Mardia Evan 5th Growth

Prisatron 04/20/10 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

I had that "invite your friends only to have a whole group come instead" thing happen to me too =( not fun. maybe you should just focus on yourself until fall.that should get your mind off your frustrations

My Characters: Tikkiii - 99 Bera I/L Mage

mippo123 04/20/10 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

Breeding ground for tasteless friends :D

Swisp 04/20/10 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

This is what I'm worried about, not having anyone I can trust when I grow up.

My Characters: Resistanze - 40 Scania Gunslinger

notrodames 04/21/10 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

the world isnt wat it used to be .... its a shame really

okamiboy1279 04/21/10 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

I'm at a point in my life where I am extremely socially apathetic, so I'm rather biased when I say: let them come to you. Take it easy and don't make things difficult for yourself.

My Characters: Masquerave - 80 Scania Chief Bandit

xXHyPhYyXx 04/21/10 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

Move. Seriously if you don't like where you live then leave.

My Characters: Boost3d - 65 Scania Dawn Warrior

xCrownClownx 04/21/10 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

Every friend has appealing and non appealing qualities. Just look at what they can offer you because no one is perfect. If your current don't enjoy your current friends, then just look around and socialize. I know there are people who are loyal and appreciative, but just don't expect too much.

My Characters: KurosuMarian - 134 Khaini Corsair

EchoAC 04/21/10 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

Good job categorizing your friends :/ Quite true really...maybe a little exaggerated and a tiinny stereotypical, but I agree.

My Characters: SacredEcho - 37 KradiaGMS Spearman

Panicka 04/21/10 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

Sounds to me like you're the problem. I mean who wants to hangout with someone who comes off as arrogant and hypocritical.

My Characters: Instiller - 115 Bera Dragon Knight

MrPineapple 04/21/10 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

[quote] Panicka : Sounds to me like you're the problem. I mean who wants to hangout with someone who comes off as arrogant and hypocritical. [/quote] Ah, says the official Basil pessimist. I don't know who revived this, but... I've been moving around the country the past few years, constantly being forced to give up old ties and constantly rebuild my life. I'm now back at the place I grew up, and will be here for the next couple years while I get my degree. I don't have the option to get up and leave, nor would I ever just because it's a hassle to have a decent night out. I'm not going to delve more into my personal life, but where it stands now I just constantly get the impression I'm not somewhere I should be. I'm used to dinner parties, movie nights, road trips, or just sitting by a bonfire with a couple acoustic guitars. It's hardly been the same here. It's like people don't care about strong friendships, just about being entertained or getting drunk with someone. It could also be because I'm so used to being in relationships, this is the longest period in the past 8 years that I've been single. Maybe I'm just missing that close person to actually spend valuable time with. Regardless, this was purely a rant based on today's drama, and was just curious if anyone else seems to share these issues.

My Characters: HumpsDragons - 53 Mardia Evan 5th Growth

Panicka 04/21/10 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

[quote] MrPineapple : Ah, says the official Basil pessimist. I don't know who revived this, but... I've been moving around the country the past few years, constantly being forced to give up old ties and constantly rebuild my life. I'm now back at the place I grew up, and will be here for the next couple years while I get my degree. I don't have the option to get up and leave, nor would I ever just because it's a hassle to have a decent night out. I'm not going to delve more into my personal life, but where it stands now I just constantly get the impression I'm not somewhere I should be. I'm used to dinner parties, movie nights, road trips, or just sitting by a bonfire with a couple acoustic guitars. It's hardly been the same here. It's like people don't care about strong friendships, just about being entertained or getting drunk with someone. It could also be because I'm so used to being in relationships, this is the longest period in the past 8 years that I've been single. Maybe I'm just missing that close person to actually spend valuable time with. Regardless, this was purely a rant based on today's drama, and was just curious if anyone else seems to share these issues. [/quote] Not being a pessimist. Calling it like it is. You went out of your way to label and insult people while saying you don't like how it seems like that is all they do. You sound arrogant. You sound like you think you're somehow better then everyone around you. Just sayin'.

My Characters: Instiller - 115 Bera Dragon Knight

MrPineapple 04/21/10 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

[quote] Panicka : Not being a pessimist. Calling it like it is. You went out of your way to label and insult people while saying you don't like how it seems like that is all they do. You sound arrogant. You sound like you think you're somehow better then everyone around you. Just sayin'. [/quote] I do look down on a lot of my old friends, they're living off dime bags and McDonalds from their welfare cheques. A lot of the people I've met lately, whether it be through work, other friends, or anywhere else show no sense of appreciation towards each other. I don't look down on people for their choices, I just don't see a whole lot of loyalty. Sure, I've got plenty of friends around from all walks of life, and I'm not taking that for granted. What you don't understand is the effort that I'm putting forth to get a few people together and they decide to invite their brother's cousin's dog, or commit to something and pull out an hour before. These aren't loyal friends. And you're calling me hypocritical and arrogant because I have a problem with it? I don't treat my friends like that, I often go along with the group and get acquainted, but there comes a point where you get sick of always being amongst a bunch of strangers, or having to fireman carry your 250lb buddy out of a club. If you can't understand this then I'm sorry for you.

My Characters: HumpsDragons - 53 Mardia Evan 5th Growth

montuno 04/21/10 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

My Characters: Rhoen - 87 Bera Priest

notrodames 04/21/10 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

[quote] MrPineapple : I do look down on a lot of my old friends, they're living off dime bags and McDonalds from their welfare cheques. A lot of the people I've met lately, whether it be through work, other friends, or anywhere else show no sense of appreciation towards each other. I don't look down on people for their choices, I just don't see a whole lot of loyalty. Sure, I've got plenty of friends around from all walks of life, and I'm not taking that for granted. What you don't understand is the effort that I'm putting forth to get a few people together and they decide to invite their brother's cousin's dog, or commit to something and pull out an hour before. These aren't loyal friends. And you're calling me hypocritical and arrogant because I have a problem with it? I don't treat my friends like that, I often go along with the group and get acquainted, but there comes a point where you get sick of always being amongst a bunch of strangers, or having to fireman carry your 250lb buddy out of a club. If you can't understand this then I'm sorry for you. [/quote] idk if this might help but maybe u could show ur unloyal compadres that u mean business wen u want to be treated fairly in the group if they dont respect you for it then u can find a new group of tomodachis(bros, amigos ) to talk to and hang out with it has work for me so far and i have made unlikely friends bcos of it o.0