thread starter TotallyPANTS Jul 19 2009
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| As a pig, you can imagine that farm life for Joey was rather laid-back; full of fat, food, sleep, fat, more fat, food, and fat. However, there�s a lot more to a pig�s life than you could think up. Emotion, glory, and love are all existent in this incredible animal. Joey slowly crawled out of his flatted pile of hay and meandered towards the trough. �Stupid punt,� he murmured. Being half-asleep, he bumped into a deep-sleeping chicken and stepped on another. A protesting screech ensued. With the vast expanses of his mind trying to focus on the trough, the sound passed in one ear and was gone. Nothing came from the other ear but earwax. His brain made no attempt to understand what the chicken was trying to get across. Unfortunately, his tired brain lost the point of this venture through the barn and he collapsed in a heap of blubber near a pillar, where he remained for another three hours. He managed to wheeze before his train of thought derailed, and the passengers that made up his consciousness dropped out. ________________________________________ His mind whirred. His brain was acting at full force. If it were a starship, the crew members would assure you that, certainly, all systems were go. The chickens awoke with a rush, hurriedly looking over to catch the incredible moment that was certainly imminent; the cows stirred and looked over in his direction with amazement in their sparkling eyes. The cats watched in awe. Joey walked toward the trough and got his water. Due to the monumentally simple-minded nature of the rest of the animals in the barn, this act was considered nearly Godlike. Yes, cats are more typically intelligent. However, there are rednecks in every species that you could ever imagine. Just look at bunnies. Sadly, due to the farmer (Larry Mard) that supposedly �owns� the land selling or killing the other pigs, Joey and Cassi were the only ones left. Of course, Cassi was only kept alive because she kept having kids for some reason, even though all the other pigs were dead (according to Larry). And Larry never knew that Joey even existed. The pig trough remained in the farm and was refilled often simply because it kept emptying for reasons unknown to the dim farmer. How Joey came to be the �invisible pig� is rather an odd story. Here it is. A few years ago, a pig that is now strewn throughout the septic tanks of many satisfied consumers gave birth to a litter of 7 pigs. Six of them were healthy, large, hungry pigs. One of them was a runt. No, that runt was not Joey. Joey was actually one of the six healthy, large, hungry ones. The runt was later sold to a rather unsuccessful freak show that nobody anywhere has ever or will ever go to see. Ever. He is expected to be dead. Now, Joey, being by far the brightest of the bunch, decided he didn�t like the rush for mommy�s teat every morning, and went over to the cows and satisfied his needs there. After a few days, he decided to just make his home right there, in the midst of the cows. La |
