Post some lame jokes.

basilmarket.com forums : Chat | 16 posts archived

thread starter omransms May 19 2009 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

Why did the math book commit suicide? Because it had too many problems. Please, no racist/religious jokes.

iEatChildren 05/19/09 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

SunmaidRaisins said: "what's the difference between snowmen and snowwomen? SNOWBALLS LOLLOOL" lmfao xD

imYoursXD 05/19/09 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

Why do sharks live in salt water? Cuz if they lived in pepper water, they would sneeze~ :]

omransms 05/19/09 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

DinoPOWER said: " So, you like my joke I see. Thanks for the compliment." ya no prob.

Roflguy28 05/19/09 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

A man owned an out-of-tune piano for years. He heard recently that the best piano tuner on Earth, Mr. Opperknockity, was in town. So, the man called him and had him tune his piano. After Mr. Opperknockity was finished, the piano was perfectly in-tune -- not a single bad note could be heard from it. A year later, the man needed to move the piano upstairs. As he did so, he bumped it into a few things, which caused it to go out of tune again. He called Mr. Opperknockity again and asked him to tune his piano once more, but Mr. Opperknockity declined his request saying "Opperknockity only tunes once"

SunmaidRaisins 05/19/09 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

wanna hear a joke about butter? actually, nah.. it might spread.

9728497284 05/19/09 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

Lame pick up line but w/e, "Nice legs!~ When do they open?"

imearth 05/19/09 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

How do you fix a broken pizza? Tomato paste! Eh eh?

SomeGuyXXX 05/19/09 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

9728497284 said: "Lame pick up line but w/e, "Nice legs!~ When do they open?"" I say, "I'm kinda hungry (insert person's name)...What time do your legs open?"

magesRbest 05/19/09 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

Why did Betty Bee have sticky hair? Because she had a Honeycomb!

omransms 05/19/09 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

SunmaidRaisins said: "wanna hear a joke about butter? actually, nah.. it might spread." say it!

ObviousTroll 05/19/09 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him "Rover" or "Spot". I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to the City Hall to renew the dog's license, I told the clerk that I would like a license for Sex. He said, "I would like to have one too!" Then I said, "But she is a dog!" He said he didn't care what she looked like. I said, "You don't understand... I have had Sex since I was nine years old." He replied, "You must have been quite a strong boy." When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I would like to have Sex at the wedding. He told me to wait until after the wedding was over. I said, "But Sex has played a big part in my life and my whole world revolves around Sex." He said he didn't want to hear about my personal life and would not marry us in his church. I told him everyone would enjoy having Sex at the wedding. The next day we were married at the Justice of the Peace. My family is barred from the church from then on. When my wife and I went on our honeymoon, I took the dog with me. When we checked into the motel, I told the clerk that I wanted a room for me and my wife and a special room for Sex. He said that every room in the motel is a place for sex. I said, "You don't understand. ... Sex keeps me awake at night." The clerk said, "Me too!" One day I entered Sex in a contest. But before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just looking around. I told him that I was going to have Sex in the contest. He said that I should have sold my own tickets. "You don't understand," I said, "I hoped to have Sex on TV." He called me a show off. When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married but Sex left me after I was married." The Judge said, "Me too!" Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking all over for her. A cop came over and asked me what I was doing in the alley at 4 o'clock in the morning. I said, "I'm looking for Sex." - My case comes up next Thursday. Well now I've been thrown in jail, been divorced and had more damn troubles with that dog than I ever foresaw. Why just the other day when I went for my first session with the psychiatrist, she asked me, "What seems to be the trouble?" I replied, "Sex has been my best friend all my life but now it has left me for ever. I couldn't live any longer so lonely." and the doctor said, "Look mister, you should understand that sex isn't a man's best friend so get yourself a dog."

LogicCannon 05/19/09 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

Did ya hear the one about the Sidewalk? Its all around town.... Whaddaya call it when two artist make love? A paintjob. HELLZ YEA.

GEEK 05/19/09 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

Why did the turtle cross the road? Hint: Take the letter "f" out of the word "way"

Gale 05/19/09 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

omransms said: " say it!" That was the joke.

omransms 05/19/09 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

Gale said: " That was the joke." I didn't get it. D=