Blue is the Sky

basilmarket.com forums : Chat | 15 posts archived

thread starter patsaccount Apr 18 2009 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

This is probably the last one for tonight. I did this off of two themes asked by two posters on another writing. The couple lay in the matted down grass on the edge of the field. They were on top of a small knoll with an old oak tree atop it. The oak provided them shade in the hot weather, but the sun was setting so it wasn�t really needed. They giggled as the wrestled each other atop the knoll. There was a warm wind floating past, making the grass sway and gently whisper. They began to calm and watch the blue sky and pure white clouds above them. The girl nuzzled into the boy�s neck, as they grew tired. A figure appeared on the horizon as both had their eyes closed. The figure came into better view of the couple and a dazed look came upon her face. The figure turned and ran. She ran until she could run no more, and she fell to the ground. She gasped in a huge breath of tears from her tearful, stinging eyes. Her face was flushed, not from the run but from the bewilderment she had just experienced. She sobbed more as the couple lay peacefully under the tree.

Humanmango 04/18/09 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

Deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep. +5 Respek

Silverleaf28 04/18/09 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

Use more flow in the sentences, less 'the's, 'there's, etc. '

NinjerStaerz 04/18/09 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

... what is this? no tryna be rude its an awsum piece of writing but what is the point?

COChaos 04/18/09 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

... "eh" ...

patsaccount 04/18/09 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

Silverleaf28 said: "Use more flow in the sentences, less 'the's, 'there's, etc. '" It's a quick write, as are all my others. I've gotten the same responses across the boards, most likely because I only spent a few minutes writing it, and I didn't proofread. I'm not really concerned about all that right now, just releasing it. I'm going to make a compilation of a bunch, and then I'll proofread and fix things. Thanks for the help though.

616510509 04/18/09 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

Explain. I don't get it.

patsaccount 04/18/09 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

616510509 said: "Explain. I don't get it." It's basically a couple on the hill, kissing and such. Then the boy's girlfriend finds them on the hill. She runs, and runs, till she can't run no more. It's about lust and betrayal, as those were the two themes asked of me to write about.

shroomsly Apr 18 2009 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

Blue is the sky, dawn is the ocean. We've set up our plan, let's put it in motion. Five words on the left, four on the right; so now we get some sleep tonight. o___o; Look what you made me do. :[

Vysper 04/18/09 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

Maybe she got stung by a bee

yPOS1 04/18/09 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

shroomsly said: "Blue is the sky, dawn is the ocean. We've set up our plan, let's put it in motion. Five words on the left, four on the right; so now we get some sleep tonight. o___o; Look what you made me do. :[" Did you just make that up on the spot? That's pretty good. O_o

patsaccount 04/18/09 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

shroomsly said: "Blue is the sky, dawn is the ocean. We've set up our plan, let's put it in motion. Five words on the left, four on the right; so now we get some sleep tonight. o___o; Look what you made me do. :[" Sorry...? For the record, I thought it was quite nice.

MizzxSxB 04/18/09 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

She was dreaming? o.o

shroomsly 04/18/09 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

yPOS1 said: " Did you just make that up on the spot? That's pretty good. O_o" Yeah, pretty much. o_o

patsaccount 04/18/09 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

MizzxSxB said: "She was dreaming? o.o" 'fraid not, hon.