I'm tired of being alone.

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thread starter Seitarou Apr 18 2009 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

EDIT: I'm gonna get some sleep now, it's almost 7 AM. =/ Thank you all so much for helping me feel better. It gave me the push to fill out an application for Best Buy. Goodnight! Yeah, when I sit around doing nothing I end up thinking too much. And now I'm thinking about how lonely I am. I can see how much this has affected my life. All this moving from house to house (Mom was never satisfied with where we lived.) made me give up on making a lot of friends. Every time I moved, I made less and less friends. Now I have one friend I hang out with, and that's roughly once a month? I graduated high school so I don't see him often anymore. There's not many people in my general area that I could hang out with unless I force myself to hang out with jocks or potheads, and I would rather not. I guess that's the main reason I've been into video games since I was 2 years old (I'm 20 now.). It's always been there no matter what's going on, and if it weren't for them, I would spend a lot of time just doing nothing. If I had friends nearby, yeah I would go and hang out with them all the time. But now, I really have nobody nearby I can spend time with. I got no girlfriend either, and haven't had a serious relationship all my life. Yeah, you can call me a loser, but I don't WANT to live like this. I'm not addicted to games, even though they're my passion and I plan to make it into a career (I'm in online college for Game Design.). It's just when I have nothing to do, I hop on my computer. I NEVER have anything to do so I'm pretty much on the computer for most of the day browsing the web and playing PSP. Even though I consider myself a hardcore gamer, I'm still stuck in the previous generation of video games. While everyone is talking about playing Halo 3, Bioshock, or Elder Scrolls Oblivion, I'm here playing PS1, PS2, and PSP games. This is what happens when I have nothing to do, I think too much then it gets me all emotional. I hate this. Why did my life turn out like this? I can't even leave the house often because I don't have my own way of getting around. And believe me, if I had my own transportation, I would go drive around and meet people with my interests so I could make new friends. Even my instant messenger list is barren and people rarely reply to me. My friends are literally my dog, my PSP, and my computer. I have little to no human interaction with people my age (20). Even my dad didn't seem to want me as he left before I was even born and I've seen him like once my entire life. I got a stepdad, but I at least want my real dad to come and at least apologize for ditching me and making a whole new family. I feel that can be the source of a lot of my self esteem issues. Add that to my dental problems I've had since I was a child and I find myself crying about it randomly when I'm alone. I don't know how much longer I can take this kind of life. All I want is a job so I can go and get the things I want. I want to meet new people, do new things, maybe eve

COChaos 04/18/09 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

Living more or less the same things you're living thru. Gotta suck it up and make the best of things.

Alexisonfire 04/18/09 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

I see your tired of being alone. :doesn't read text"

Vysper Apr 18 2009 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

You'll get used to it. If you think your life is bad, try living mine. I moved from China to Canada when I was three. Then when I was 5 to the US. Then back to Canada, but a different city when I was 8. To Scotland in 1999 and then 4 months in Algeria in 2002. Then to Qatar until the begining of high school. I did 11-12th grade in Oman and now back in Canada for university, in yet another city.

Seitarou Apr 18 2009 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

COChaos said: "Living more or less the same things you're living thru. Gotta suck it up and make the best of things." Yeah I try to make the best of it, but it's kinda hard when I'm confined in my room for nearly 100% of every day. Above: I've been living like this for over 5 years. =/

Humanmango 04/18/09 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

There, there. *offers a beer*

Silverleaf28 04/18/09 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

Make a change out of it then

liddojoe 04/18/09 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

awwwwww....

Rikenshi 04/18/09 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

I'm not that far off from what you're feeling. I too, feel alone at times. Despite the fact that I have a job, a good amount of friends, my own transportation, etc etc, it's never the same without a girlfriend. It's not that I want it to affect my life this much, but it's just how it is given the abuse I took as a child and being a social outcast back then.

DarknessAuir 04/18/09 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

Seitarou said: " Yeah I try to make the best of it, but it's kinda hard when I'm confined in my room for nearly 100% of every day." since you're 20, you're in college right? go make some college friends? dude, you should probably buy an instrument too. playing an instrument is fun. my band teacher tells us his trumpet is pretty much the only thing that keeps his sanity in place lol

yPOS1 04/18/09 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

Go to like, a real college. I hear they're great.

MrAmos 04/18/09 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

Vysper said: "You'll get used to it. If you think your life is bad, try mine. I moved from China to Canada to the US to Scotland to Algeria to Qatar to Oman and now back to Canada." I would say...thats bittersweet, but probaly more bitter then sweet.

Seitarou Apr 18 2009 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

Silverleaf28 said: "Make a change out of it then " If only I could. I'm held back with my family's notorious procrastinating. There's this van that is being given to me for FREE and it works. I was told about this over a month ago. Yet the procrastination my family does prevents me from having it now. My life could get so much better if I had it. Above: I go to an online college because the colleges in my area don't teach about Game Design. Besides I have no way of getting there anyway. Vysper: I actually wouldn't mind moving around the world like that. All the moving I did was confined to this hellhole of a state, and a little bit of Louisiana, which was the best part of my life. That state actually has a little bit that interests me.

Vysper Apr 18 2009 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

MrAmos said: " I would say...thats bittersweet, but probaly more bitter then sweet. " I basically had to change friends every 2 or 3 years all my life. But that didn't stop me, and I honestly have no sympathy for people who change a city in the US and think it's the end of the world and excuse to sit back and whine about how depressing their life is. Try keeping your friends on a 12-14 hour time difference. Try having to fly for 36 hours with 3 different layovers just to visit someone in the Middle East. Last Christmas, I flew to Cuba on vacation to with my oldest friend who I grew up with in Canada when we were still in elementary school. I hadn't seen the guy in almost 9 years. Friendships take time and effort. If you laze around, then you have no one to blame but yourself

yPOS1 04/18/09 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

Vysper said: " I basically had to change friends every 2 or 3 years all my life. But that didn't stop me, and I honestly have no sympathy for people who change a city in the US and think it's the end of the world and excuse to sit back and whine about how depressing their life is. Try keeping your friends on a 12-14 hour time difference. Last Christmas, I flew to Cuba on vacation to with my oldest friend who I grew up with in Canada when we were still in elementary school. I hadn't seen the guy in almost 9 years." I hate seeing people I haven't seen in a while, they've usually changed to the point where they've become an entirely different person than the last time you saw them.