Was I too harsh?

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thread starter OhKristi Aug 21 2010 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

Uhm.. basically, I had a conversation with one of my guy friends and it went a little like this: Him: .. I like you. Me: You shouldn't. Him: Why not? Me: I'm not very good with relationships nor do I think one with you will work out very well. Him: I only wanted a chance.. Me: Well, unfortunately.. not everyone gets what they want. I'm really sorry. And then he proceeded to call himself stupid and say that it was his fault. (I think he was trying to guilt me). I was trying to be as honest as possible and I didn't want to lead him on (or cause any misunderstandings) so my side of the conversation was pretty blunt. I would also like to mention that he was being extremely flirty with me for some time. I find guys like that horribly annoying. Anyway, basilers: If you were the guy, how would you feel? How would you react? Was I being too harsh? Too blunt? Could I have handled this situation better?

My Characters: OhKristi - 91 Broa Blade Specialist

JoeSycop 08/21/10 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

I would be fine with it. You told him what he needed to hear. You did that situation perfectly. Weren't to harsh.

My Characters: TheFishRat - 50 KradiaGMS Assassin

Amarlista 08/21/10 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

I think you're last phrase was a little mean, but I can honestly say you handled it way better than I would have ever been to if I was put on the spot like that.

My Characters: Anyalista - 38 Broa Aran in Memory

lilmidgitz + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

I just realized i contracted myself. Forget what I said. But you weren't harsh. Don't feel guilty!

My Characters: LookAtMyGuns - 142 Scania Corsair

XiaoKe 08/21/10 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

I am not an expert at this.

My Characters: PRChina - 64 Scania Assassin

metaghost3 08/21/10 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

Wow you fail, if you really think that you suck at relationships, then give him a warning and let him decide from that, what you said make it feel like you were getting away from him. If that guy was me, I would start avoiding you.

My Characters: metaghost - 81 Bellocan Crusader

lilmidgitz 08/21/10 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

[quote] metaghost3 : Wow you fail, if you really think that you suck at relationships, then give him a warning and let him decide from that, what you said make it feel like you were getting away from him. If that guy was me, I would start avoiding you. [/quote] Its not for him to decide, its for her to decide. Even though she said she was bad at relationships, she clearly stated she doesn't think a relationship between them would work out.

My Characters: LookAtMyGuns - 142 Scania Corsair

metaghost3 08/21/10 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

[quote] lilmidgitz : Its not for him to decide, its for her to decide. Even though she said she was bad at relationships, she clearly stated she doesn't think a relationship between them would work out. [/quote] Then she should of said that she wasn't interested in him the same way as he is. If he's stubborn/optimistic like a lot of people, then he probably didn't get that message.

My Characters: metaghost - 81 Bellocan Crusader

OhKristi 08/21/10 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

[quote] metaghost3 : Wow you fail, if you really think that you suck at relationships, then give him a warning and let him decide from that, what you said make it feel like you were getting away from him. If that guy was me, I would start avoiding you. [/quote] The last part is what I'm worried about. Also, a month or so ago, he said to me "I sort of like you" - I did give him a warning after he said that.

My Characters: OhKristi - 91 Broa Blade Specialist

lilmidgitz 08/21/10 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

[quote] metaghost3 : Then she should of said that she wasn't interested in him the same way as he is. If he's stubborn/optimistic like a lot of people, then he probably didn't get that message. [/quote] Then thats his fault not hers. She basically did say she wasn't interested in him, as she said she didn't want a relationship between the two. I'm sure anyone would get the message. Unless hes the kind of person that thinks "OMG she said no. That must mean she MIGHT like me" or something...

My Characters: LookAtMyGuns - 142 Scania Corsair

ddvessel 08/21/10 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

lol stop acting like you're so deep and intelligent

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metaghost3 08/21/10 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

[quote] lilmidgitz : Then thats his fault not hers. She basically did say she wasn't interested in him, as she said she didn't want a relationship between the two. I'm sure anyone would get the message. Unless hes the kind of person that thinks "OMG she said no. That must mean she MIGHT like me" or something... [/quote] What has reached his head is that she told him that she thinks that they both suck at relationships. So necessarily she didn't say no, she just gave an excuse not to say yes.

My Characters: metaghost - 81 Bellocan Crusader

Amazing 08/21/10 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

To be honest, right when you said that, I would have said sorry and continued as acting as your friend as if nothing happened. I mean nothing actually bad did happen if that was the case right?

My Characters: Gaburiasu - 120 Scania Night Lord

matthewxx 08/21/10 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

no, that's fine. there's no point in stringing him along with possibilities. you've told him what you're looking for, if he has a problem then he can screw off. you were assertive, not harsh.

My Characters: LToTi - 35 Bera Hunter

lilmidgitz 08/21/10 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

[quote] metaghost3 : What has reached his head is that she told him that she thinks that they both suck at relationships. So necessarily she didn't say no, she just gave an excuse not to say yes. [/quote] nor do I think one with you will work out very well. She never said he was bad at relationships She said she was bad at relationships though, and that may be an excuse. But still, excuses or not, a no is a no. And I am pretty sure that.. using an excuse to avoid saying yes.. is trying to say no but trying to not be mean..

My Characters: LookAtMyGuns - 142 Scania Corsair