Another maple-story! zomg!
basilmarket.com forums : General Maple Story  |  15 posts archived
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thread starter SlaTerra Jun 22 2010 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT
SO my good friend Brayden2k9 PM'd me saying how he was suspended ( ;_; ) and how he had written a story. He wanted me to post it for him!~ REMEMBER, I DID NOT MAKE THIS! Enjoy!~ Chapter 1: A choice Ferdie was reading over the 'Maple History' book, deciding which profesison he'd like to take on. Nothing really caught his eye, that is until he came upon the Shadower part. It read:; Shadowers are very stealthy, and agile. They can take things out before it even lays eyes on them. They use a Dagger and a Shield. The shield is called a Khanjar, and looks like another blade. Though Khanjars are very rare, some Shadowers may get their hands on one. Shadowers originate from Kerning City, and the job instructor is Dark Lord. He is the fourth Shadower there is. The second is a person named Rellik, the third being a person named Arec, and the first being a person who's name is not known. Ferdie knew this was it. He wanted to be a Shadower. He flipped to the next page to check where to apply to become a Shadower. The page informed him he would have to take a trip to Kerning City and talk to Dark Lord in his bar. He knew he had to do it, and his mother would not be happy... Chapter 2: Finding the Dark Lord Ferdie flipped to the next page, hoping for more information on Shadowers. Nothing. This made him quite upset. This page was of a Bowmaster, which made him sigh. His mother, being a Bowmaster always nags him to take up their ways. His father, being a Dark Knight would more than likely want him to take up their ways. Ferdie never sees his dad though... He walked out on Ferdie and his mother when they had a huge fight when Ferdie was three. He could only remember bits and pieces of the night. Like when his dad pointed at Ferdie and yelled something, then walked out, slamming the door. Ferdie broke his moment of silence when he heard a door shut and flinched. He sat up in his bed, threw the covers off, and and stood. His room was small. Not that it needed to be any bigger, though. His bed was against the wooden wall. The floors were wooden, the candles lit in the corner (which he should be out soon), the bear skin hanging off the wall that his mother apparently hunted, then skinned for a trophy, and his bookshelf leaning against the wall across from his bed. He stood, and walked downstairs, expecting to see his mom cooking dinner. He couldn't believe his eyes. He was shocked. A person with a knife was holding his mom, having the knife to her neck. "Who are you?" Ferdie yelled. He scanned the kitchen, looking for some knife to use. His eyes locked on the area where all the knives were piled. "What do you want with my mom?" "You see, kiddo.. Your mom got herself into some serious business." He slit her throat and she fell to the ground. The man winked at Ferdie and dissapeared into the dark kitchen. Ferdie had no clue what to do. He just sat there, frozen. He ran toward his mother, who lay bleeding out on the floor. He held her head in his hands, sobbing. She wa
My Characters: XBoredEvanX - 46 Scania Evan 4th Growth
Jimmy040 06/23/10 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT
AMAZING. SIMPLE AMAZING. Your friend a great writer i really enjoyed reading this entire thing...tell me when are you going to continue this?
My Characters: AKJimmy - 51 Khaini Spearman
TheFrikenGuy 06/23/10 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT
this is damn nice man
My Characters: TheFrikenGuy - 76 Scania Dawn Warrior
farmtownkid 06/23/10 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT
awsome
My Characters: iTzk33sh - 44 Bellocan Fighter
TheMuffinLover 06/23/10 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT
Very nice. Make more paragraphs, though. =P
My Characters: DefIective - 58 Khaini Assassin
enterusername 06/23/10 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT
This should be made into a book.
My Characters: mintroparan - 65 Bera Aran in Memory
gimliofdurin + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT
its okay, not original seen this done so many times, parents die and he becomes famous and ppl have been watching him Ex:Harry Potter, Eragon, etc
My Characters: biaz3wizardx - 120 Scania Blaze Wizard
UltixFighter 06/23/10 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT
Nice but isn't this bypassing a suspension? o-0
My Characters: Justlikeblue - 70 Khaini Marauder
NightWalker 06/23/10 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT
I actually cried.
My Characters: NightAzo - 54 KradiaEMS Assassin
phantur + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT
I find that this story reads like a 3rd grade chapter book. The chapters are too short, the description is lacking, etc... It feels like an instruction manual. ><; Sorry. If I were you, I'd go to Fanfiction.net and look up some of the people who are more well known, especially the ones that have 1,000+ words per chapter. Overall, though, I'd say you're off to a great start. :D
SeEkeRxKiD 06/23/10 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT
*saves spot while I read *
My Characters: KraziiStabs - 120 Broa Shadower
TheMuffinLover 06/23/10 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT
[quote] phantur : I find that this story reads like a 3rd grade chapter book. The chapters are too short, the description is lacking, etc... It feels like an instruction manual. ><; Sorry. If I were you, I'd go to Fanfiction.net and look up some of the people who are more well known, especially the ones that have 1,000+ words per chapter. Overall, though, I'd say you're off to a great start. :D [/quote] This is a forum, not a novel.
My Characters: DefIective - 58 Khaini Assassin
putangclan12 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT
amazing sounds like dual bladers tho
My Characters: fail2lv - 120 Khaini Bishop
oxCrav3x 06/23/10 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT
I'm reading it right now.
My Characters: MyVaIentine - 51 Scania Fighter
MunchyNOODLES 06/23/10 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT
damm, tell ur friend to make sequel
My Characters: YumBobaTea - 42 Mardia Fighter
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