Insane : A short story
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thread starter MindSpaz May 18 2010 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT
Introduction This is a short story I wrote a couple years ago, for a writing class in high school. It took me over the course of a month to think up the ideas, write it, and edit it to what you are about to read. I don't know why I'm posting this on basil, but, as I said before I hope you enjoy it. I also made a short film based on the story, I would post it on youtube but unfortunately I have lost the video. The story is about a man who has survived a nuclear war and no one is left but him. He is also going insane progressively. It is written "journal" or "diary" like. Enjoy. Insane : By (me obviously) March 15th, 1956 : Ever since the bombs went off I've been seeing things. All the body's. Everyone I ever knew or loved or even cared about, dead. I'm getting used to being alone now though. I thought I saw another survivor but, it was just another body, placed in an awkward position. Every sound that hits my ear drum is like a throbbing pain. I'm starting to see small things in the corner of my eye, like a shadow or a person like figure. I'm not sure what it is but for some reason it's like I can't look at it directly. Every time I walk though this forest of the remains of a city outside my house it's like the shadow is watching me. I get goose bumps every time I walk around a chard piece of brick wall and see the shadow, I'm sure whatever it is, it won't hurt me. March 20th, 1956 : It seems like the shadow has followed me into my home now, and not just in the city. My hearing has also become very sensitive, and anything louder than a pot banging on a counter hurts my ears and disorients me greatly. I'm not sure whats happening to me, the lonesomeness might be getting to me. I try to keep myself sane by writing in this journal. But that won't help me for much longer. The city, it's starting to change. I'm not sure what though, but when I go to the city to look for supply's, it seems like the buildings are moving around me. Changing places. March 22nd, 1956 : I think the buildings are moving. When I walk past a building, I turn my head and it's much further away or not there at all. I'm starting to be afraid to leave this room in my house. But I need to keep gathering supply's. I need to eat. I haven't eaten anything since a few days ago. Now my ears are bleeding, I'm not sure why though. And the shadow keeps sitting at the foot of the remains of my bed when I'm trying to close my eyes. I can't stop thinking about the bombs. Even in my dreams, I can almost hear them as if it was happening again. I wonder if there's anyone left alive in the whole world. I've been thinking about trying to find others, any kind of live outside this hell. And there are still fires from the bombs. The whole town smells like rotting flesh. I'm not even sure what my name is anymore. It's only been about a week and I feel like I already need to leave this town, just so I don't go insane. I'm not even sure how I survived. How is it that I am the only one alive. Maybe this
My Characters: MindSpazHero - 53 Windia Fighter
imtwocats 05/18/10 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT
Not really a story, more of a journal. But not bad.
My Characters: iamtwocats - 108 Windia F/P Mage
miniman311 05/18/10 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT
Good story, but it was a little disturbing.
My Characters: BlueLaker - 83 Galicia Aran in Misery
Riverstorm 05/18/10 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT
It's okay. Feels like something about could be improved though (not sure what. Maybe the tone?)
My Characters: Riverstorm - 100 Scania Priest
BoredToday 05/18/10 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT
That was entertaining :D
My Characters: CanceIations - 19 Broa Rogue
Vans 05/18/10 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT
I already found a grammatical error in the second line. But I guess I can read it.
My Characters: NoaTha - 32 Broa Brawler
Flalalala 05/18/10 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT
A little gory. But predictable.
My Characters: Flalalala - 125 Khaini Shadower
Vans 05/18/10 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT
Alright here's my two cents. It's good, for a relatively unexperienced author. It seems a bit choppy, but I like the story, and I didn't really get the Frank Sinatra thing.
My Characters: NoaTha - 32 Broa Brawler
1337Mastz0r 05/18/10 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT
I enjoyed it. But you really made it choppy and try to make it sound tough, or I guess distorted. Still, it is a journal, not a story. I wrote like this for a long time. I enjoyed it, I kept it dark until now, but didn't try every five seconds to make good dialogue. Entertaining, 6.5/10
LegendClark 05/18/10 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT
He ate them.
My Characters: YamanJamaul - 13 Scania Pirate
MindSpaz 05/18/10 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT
It's pretty badly written, but as I said before, I wrote this a couple years ago in high school, I was like 14 when I wrote this. But I'm glad people like the story even though it's kinda hard to follow at some points.
My Characters: MindSpazHero - 53 Windia Fighter
Narcissus 05/18/10 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT
[quote] imtwocats : Not really a story, more of a journal. But not bad. [/quote] what the world's most purrfect man said it was alright though.
My Characters: Fafinette - 109 Windia Outlaw
Unpossible 05/18/10 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT
YOU KILLED FRANK SINATRA! YOU BASTARDS! I had to say that...
Ahoy 05/18/10 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT
That was very interesting.
My Characters: OurOwn - 36 Windia Spearman
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