World's Longest Joke: Lost in the Desert
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thread starter CowSeries May 12 2010 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT
So, there's a man crawling through the desert. He'd decided to try his SUV in a little bit of cross-country travel, had great fun zooming over the badlands and through the sand, got lost, hit a big rock, and then he couldn't get it started again. There were no cell phone towers anywhere near, so his cell phone was useless. He had no family, his parents had died a few years before in an auto accident, and his few friends had no idea he was out here. He stayed with the car for a day or so, but his one bottle of water ran out and he was getting thirsty. He thought maybe he knew the direction back, now that he'd paid attention to the sun and thought he'd figured out which way was north, so he decided to start walking. He figured he only had to go about 30 miles or so and he'd be back to the small town he'd gotten gas in last. He thinks about walking at night to avoid the heat and sun, but based upon how dark it actually was the night before, and given that he has no flashlight, he's afraid that he'll break a leg or step on a rattlesnake. So, he puts on some sun block, puts the rest in his pocket for reapplication later, brings an umbrella he'd had in the back of the SUV with him to give him a little shade, pours the windshield wiper fluid into his water bottle in case he gets that desperate, brings his pocket knife in case he finds a cactus that looks like it might have water in it, and heads out in the direction he thinks is right. He walks for the entire day. By the end of the day he's really thirsty. He's been sweating all day, and his lips are starting to crack. He's reapplied the sunblock twice, and tried to stay under the umbrella, but he still feels sunburned. The windshield wiper fluid sloshing in the bottle in his pocket is really getting tempting now. He knows that it's mainly water and some ethanol and coloring, but he also knows that they add some kind of poison to it to keep people from drinking it. He wonders what the poison is, and whether the poison would be worse than dying of thirst. He pushes on, trying to get to that small town before dark. By the end of the day he starts getting worried. He figures he's been walking at least 3 miles an hour, according to his watch for over 10 hours. That means that if his estimate was right that he should be close to the town. But he doesn't recognize any of this. He had to cross a dry creek bed a mile or two back, and he doesn't remember coming through it in the SUV. He figures that maybe he got his direction off just a little and that the dry creek bed was just off to one side of his path. He tells himself that he's close, and that after dark he'll start seeing the town lights over one of these hills, and that'll be all he needs. As it gets dim enough that he starts stumbling over small rocks and things, he finds a spot and sits down to wait for full dark and the town lights. Full dark comes before he knows it. He must have dozed off. He stands back up and turns all the way around. He sees noth
My Characters: StaticCow - 93 KradiaGMS Thunder Breaker
Torisim + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT
How am I going to read this >.> Brb while I actually do... Edit: Wow that is an epic 30 minutes I just spent...The pun at the end it ok >.>
My Characters: Torisim - 56 Scania Blaze Wizard
Umomafan 05/12/10 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT
I remember this, my friend sent me the original link and I read it there. It's not the longest joke though, just a very delayed pun. I mean, extremely delayed. But it's worth the read!
My Characters: MayoLove - 93 Broa White Knight
TwentyFour 05/12/10 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT
Hmmk reading now..
My Characters: Lively - 20 Aquila Rogue
Mang + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT
too much ADD. Did anyone actually read it all through? I even found it too long to scroll to the bottom.
My Characters: Gnam - 17 Scania Warrior
Humanmango 05/12/10 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT
Jesus Christ. I'm not reading this, buddy...
My Characters: HeIlAdvent - 50 Khaini Dawn Warrior
strongdude 05/12/10 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT
I read this a long time ago... I hate the punchline at the end. Not even funny.
My Characters: omgaxbow - 84 Khaini Ranger
MrNoobody 05/12/10 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT
This has been posted before I read it, BETTER NATE THEN LEVER!
My Characters: iNoobody - 106 Bera I/L Mage
Dirty 05/12/10 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT
Didn't read it. but I'll laugh heartily anyway.
My Characters: Wybr - 77 Bellocan Sniper
Trungz 05/12/10 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT
I couldn't even freaking scroll down. ><
My Characters: BootyBouncin - 40 Broa Aran in Memory
Arias 05/12/10 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT
Read it before. I actually liked the story behind it xD.
My Characters: ArcArias2 - 64 Mardia Fighter
Chukc 05/12/10 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT
O_O I'm not even going to try, haha..
My Characters: DgnKng - 156 Bera Dark Knight
gamerrttag 05/12/10 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT
to sum it up, German concentration camps are re-opening in the Sahara, DONT GET LOST
My Characters: DecoyNum2 - 52 Windia Gunslinger
Cinnanmonny 05/12/10 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT
CinnanmonnyI read this before Funniest thing ever! :D
My Characters: DuckVader - 63 Broa Fighter
CowSeries 05/12/10 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT
Honestly I haven't read it all so I can't guarantee you anything.
My Characters: StaticCow - 93 KradiaGMS Thunder Breaker
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