thread starter OdensThirdLeg Apr 07 2010
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| okay so this is a long story so I'm going to try and make it short. today was the first wednesday of spring break, and we've been on spring break for like 5 days. Today I woke up and then I realized how windy it was outside. I looked outside and my tree was KNOCKED OVER. This is really surprising because we have a koi pond outside and the koi fish weren't even flopping outside without water. It's really weird how fishes require water to breathe. I mean it would be really great if I could have a land fish. Never mind. Okay so it's almost my friend's birthday so I invited her over to watch a movie with my other friends and that it was a big group so she didn't need to worry. She said yes and I was very happy because I usually cry after being rejected. So I quickly took a shower and used both the conditioner and shampoo instead of one or the other as usual. So then I walked over to the video store to pick up a movie to watch for later on tonight. I walked about halfway there and then I slipped. I was bleeding on my face but then I realized that I slipped on a $20 bill. Then I realized that it was very fortuitous because I forgot to bring money from home. So then I stopped by Starbucks because the thought of such a woman coming to my house exhilarated me and I needed something to drink to calm down. The line was kind of long which was weird because it was a Wednesday morning. I wasn't aware that so many people took time out of their schedules in order to get a beverage. So I ordered a frap, and I tipped her two dollars because she was kind of cute. But when I put the tip in the box she didn't even say anything! What a waste of two dollars. I was sitting there, enjoying my frap when a woman approached me. She notice how good the structure and arch of my foot was, and offered me a job as a foot model. I declined though, because I wasn't ready for the responsibility and I didn't want to work because I was very foot shy in front of the camera. Anyways I went to the movie store and I tried to get into the adults only section but then the guy caught me and told me to get out. So then I went to another video store and ended up getting the Notebook so I could impress the woman with my sensitivity. I walked home and got freshened up for my big night. I had to pick out the perfect outfit to impress her and then I ended up picking the lowest v-neck I could find and my best pair of basketball shorts. I smelled myself and noticed that my nipples smelled kind of like milk so then I was troubled. I ended up spraying the said nipple with Axe Vice and then I was good to go. Then I realized how much time was left before our meeting. So I ended up watching the Yankees game. I never realized until today how good looking of a guy Derek Jeter actually is. If I didn't love women as much I would totally build a shrine for him in the back of my closet. But alas, I am. I cooked a bowl of Progresso Chicken Noodle Soup in the microwave, and was impressed with the results. So th |
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