The Hopefully Ultimate Joke Thread

basilmarket.com forums : Chat | 16 posts archived

thread starter Debunii Jul 22 2009 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

Post the best jokes here and the winner of each page shall be posted up here I will tell jokes too when I think of some No rules for jokes except basil rules have fun! page 1: kinda crappy but I guess the most original would be the last one on the page by pyrefang page 2: geek and katsudon tied both were funny in their own way page 3: 3rdsight wins page 4: mrguy9 wins this one page 5: pheonix's first one wins page 6: there were little to no jokes so garretc wins for being random

DivineSoul7 07/22/09 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

what do you call and yellow bus with black people in it? A Rotten Banana IM NOT RACIST IM BLACK ANd i love black jokes they crack me up

Applesnacks 07/22/09 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

You know whats my most favorite type of heavy metal? Titanium =D

xtheifxxxx 07/22/09 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

What did one lesbian vampire say to the other? Ill see you next month! Lol :o

PyreFang 07/22/09 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

LogicCannon said: " MapleStory ElmTome OakFable BirchApologue HawthorneEncyclopaedia?" AshFolktale?

gozgoz14 07/22/09 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

Why dis the chicken cross the road To get to the other side LOLOLOLOLOLO ROLFOLROLFOLORLOF LAMO LAMO LAMFO http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xNvbPzSTpPI

3rdSight 07/22/09 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

So one day this guy decides he wants to learn about logic. He goes up to someone and says "Hey, can you teach me about logic?" He says "Sure thing, lets start off with this. Do you have a weedwacker?" "Yeah" the man says. "Ahh, so if you have a weedwacker, you must have a yard to use it in. So if you have a yard, you must have a house to live in." "Your right!" says the man. The other man then goes on to say "So if you have a house, you must have a wife. And if you have a wife, you must not be gay." " Oh cool" said the man "your right, I have all of those and Im NOT gay. Thanks for teaching me logic, Ill show this to someone else. The man then goes up to someone and says "Want me to teach you about logic?" "I guess" says the man, confused. "Ok, do you have a weedwacker?" says the man, using the same technique as the other man had told him. "No" says the other guy "AHA SO YOU MUST BE GAY!"

GatorAid 07/22/09 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

Tommm said: " LMFAO, U STUPID. LOLZ. MORE PLOX." The letter "O" isn't a number.

Delete 07/22/09 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

Why do black people need new pairs of pants? Because their negros! - What do you call two mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan - What's the difference between a jew and a boy scout? One comes home from camp! - What do you call two mexican fire fighters? Jose' and JoseB - What's the difference between a black guy and a large pizza? One can feed a family of 4! - There was a Jew, a french guy, and a black guy that died and went to hell. While in hell Satan said "you know what pay me $15 and I'll send you back to earth" So the French guy paid him, after that he ran home and told his wife the whole story. At the end she asked "what about the other two guys?" The french guy replied "The jew got it down to $12.50 and the black guy is waiting on his check from the government" - There was a brunette guy and a blonde guy at a bar drinking a beer and watching the news. On the news it showed a guy on a building wanting to suicide. So the brunette turns to the blonde and says bet you $20 he'll jump, and the blonde accepts. Right as they lay down the money they guy jumps. The brunette then says "Ah I can't take your money I saw him jump on the 6' o clock news" and the blonde replied "I did too, I just didn't think he was stupid enough to jump again" - Why do Asian people have squinty eyes? Because when they get home to eat they see dinner, rub their eyes and say "aww rice again!" - Sorry if this offended anyone it's all in good humor, if you want tell me a white joke. I'd love to hear it

SpaceRazorz 07/22/09 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

At the end of the night a man leaves the bar. Outside he sees a nun. He walks over to her and slaps her in the face. Then he punches her in the stomach and knocks her over. He proceeds to kick her several times and when hes done he bends down to her and says, �not so tough tonight, are you Batman?�

DivineSoul7 07/22/09 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

LogicCannon said: " MapleStory ElmTome OakFable BirchApologue HawthorneEncyclopaedia?" I thought this a joke thread not alternate names for maplestory

3rdSight 07/22/09 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

SpaceRazorz said: "At the end of the night a man leaves the bar. Outside he sees a nun. He walks over to her and slaps her in the face. Then he punches her in the stomach and knocks her over. He proceeds to kick her several times and when hes done he bends down to her and says, �not so tough tonight, are you Batman?�" That doesn't even make sense

hissi 07/22/09 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

A Rabbit named Mr. Rabbit and a Bear named Mr. Bear both live in a Forest. A genie appears and grants Mr. Rabbit and Mr. Bear each 3 wishes. Mr. Bear says "I wish all the bears in the forest were females." Mr. Rabbit says "I wish for a Helmet." Mr. Bear says "I wish all the bears in the country were females." Mr. Rabbit says "I wish I had a Motorcycle." Mr. Bear says "I wish all the bears in the world were females." Mr. Rabbit then says "I wish Mr. Bear was gay" and he drives away. Pwn.

imearth 07/22/09 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

What do you do with Elmer's Glue? Give it back to Elmer.

Delete 07/22/09 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

hissi said: "A Rabbit named Mr. Rabbit and a Bear named Mr. Bear both live in a Forest. A genie appears and grants Mr. Rabbit and Mr. Bear each 3 wishes. Mr. Bear says "I wish all the bears in the forest were females." Mr. Rabbit says "I wish for a Helmet." Mr. Bear says "I wish all the bears in the country were females." Mr. Rabbit says "I wish I had a Motorcycle." Mr. Bear says "I wish all the bears in the world were females." Mr. Rabbit then says "I wish Mr. Bear was gay" and he drives away. Pwn." Hahah that's kind of like this one: A bus of ugly people crashed and no one survived. As they all went to the gates of heaven the gatekeeper said "You may each have one wish before you enter" The first ugly girl says "I wish I was gorgeous" BAM she was gorgeous The second ugly girl says "I wish I was beautiful" BAM she was beautiful The third ugly girl says "I wish I was pretty" BAM she was pretty. And it kept going on and on, until it reached the last girl. The gatekeeper asks "So what is your wish" The last ugly lady replies "I wish they were all ugly again" BAM

GatorAid Jul 22 2009 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

How do you catch a bear? You make a hole of ash surrounded by peas. When he goes to take a pea, you kick him in the ash hole. It's better when it's spoken. How do you know when it's bed time at the Neverland Ranch? When the big hand touches the small hand.