thread starter OldMan Jul 13 2009
+ PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT
| I went to a Red Robin once on my birthday. We had about 18 people, and they knew were coming in advance and brought us to several tables that had been pushed together. We all ordered as usual, and the food came out 4 or 5 plates at a time. Mine was last. I ordered a Banzai Burger and it came nearly 10 minutes after everyone else's food. I didn't complain at first, thinking they might have been putting together some sort of special birthday burger. But the waitress finally brought my Banzai Burger and it looked ordinary. Then I ate some Bottomless Steak Fries and finally bit into the burger, and realized that it was utterly raw meat on the inside. The burger was perfectly colored on the surface, but a cross-section of the Banzai Burger showed that it was uncooked a mere millimeter into the burger patty, as if someone had brushed it over a high-powered flame to merely cook the exterior. I had the waitress bring it back, and, rather than make a whole new burger, they just recooked the same burger and stuck it on the same bun and toppings with my bite still apparent. There was no apology or ceremonial bringing-out-of-the-manager or anything. Not to mention that she removed my Steak Fries and brought the same ones back, still cold. Hell, my Banzai Burger had been so hilariously undercooked that we all took cell phone pictures of it for the novelty. A friend of mine complained further, hinting at the need for some freebies, especially since I waited a hour for raw meat and it was my birthday, but the waitress just ignored us. Then, the bartender spilled liquor on a friend because he (the bartender) was trying to juggle. I got up and told the bartender off, especially because broken glass had shattered everywhere. Then, the bartender started to yell at me for having so many people there. I splashed my drink on him, a Very Berry Raspberry Limeade, and said "Whoops" and then he came at me with a bottle. I quickly grabbed what was nearest to me, a Carnitas Fajita platter, and threw its entire deliciousness across his face. The fajitas were hot, and he screamed like a little girl and then started kicking wildly. He kicked over a table of unrelated patrons and just kept kicking, until finally he kicked my female cousin on her knee and she fell over in pain, still clutching her Whiskey River BBQ Chicken Burger. This only enraged me more, and I looked around quickly and spotted a 5 Alarm Burger, half eaten. I opened the bun and shoved it into the eyes, mouth, and nose of the bartender. The juice from the jalapenos and fresh tangy salsa ran down his face and I watched with glee as the sensation of the 5 Alarm's pepper hotness finally reached his brain. He cried out and then passed out, in that order. This all occurred so quickly that most everyone was still in shock. However, my nasty salmonella-slinging waitress immediately attacked me with simultaneous Sauteed Shroom and Jamaican Jerk'D Chicken Burgers. I was stunned, and not just by the plates containing siz |