| "I kissed a girl, and i liked it." "Uh huh, extra cheese. Uh huh, Uh huh, save a piece for me. Pizza party at your house, I went just to check it out. 19 extra larges, What a shame, no one came. Just us, eatin' all alone, You said, "take the pizza home. No sense lettin' all this go to waste," So then I faced Pizza all day, and everyday, there's cheese 'round the clock, Is gettin' me blocked, And I sure don't care for irregularity. Tell me, Why'd you have to go and make me so constipated 'Cause right now I'd do anything to just get my bowels evacuated, In the bathroom. I sit and I wait and I strain and I sweat and I clench and I feel the pain Oh, should I take a laxative or have my colon irrigated. No, no, no. I was feelin' pretty down, 'Til my girlfriend came around. We're just so alike in every way, I gotta say. In fact, I just thought I might, pop the question there that night. I was kissin' her so tenderly, But woe is me. Who would've guessed, her family crest. I'd suddenly spy, tattoo'd on her thigh. And son of a gun, it's just like the one on me. Tell me. "How was I supposed to know we were both related? Believe me if I knew she was my cousin we never would've dated. What to do now? Should I go ahead and propose and get hitched and have kids with 11 toes, And move to Alabama where that kinda' thing is tolerated. No, no, no." "I'm on a boat, *****, Shut your lips, do the hellen keller, and talk with yours hips!" ^ Those two songs clash together for me |