Chuck Norris Jokes/Thread

basilmarket.com forums : Fun | 16 posts archived

thread starter sandisku3 May 01 2009 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

So, my classmate started going on this Chuck Norris fanatic and made all these Chuck Norris lines to share with like everyone he saw. I just want to get as many lines as possible to annoy him back until he dies =]... So, gimme all your Chuck Norris lines XD... This is a few I heard from millions he had: Chuck Norris can count to infinity... twice. Chuck Norris can win you in connect four with 3 moves. Chuck Norris did an uppercut on a Zebra and created the Giraffe. Post more and, if it's good (IMO), then I'll post it up here =]

hizzlenizzle 05/01/09 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you. There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control. Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song. Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open. Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip. Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you. Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise. Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird. It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes Chuck Norris filed a lawsuit to Law and Order for taking the name of his fists.

ilovealyssa 05/01/09 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

omg lmao these are so funny

lea18 05/01/09 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

Dinosaurs went extinct because of the Chuck Norrisaurus. The chemical formula for the highly toxic cyanide ion is CN-. These are also Chuck Norris' initials. This is not a coincidence. If at first you don't succed, you're not Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris let the dogs out. Chuck Norris got his driver's license at the age of 16. Seconds.

SSJHuran89 May 01 2009 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

Chuck Norris once gave a homeless man 25 cents, that mans name was Donald Trump. Edit: again, I'm just making them up as I go :P

xalex094 05/01/09 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

Chuck Norris knitts sweaters in his spare time. By knit i mean kicks, and by sweaters i mean childern.

rewater 05/01/09 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.

SSJHuran89 05/01/09 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

Chuck Norris was once reported for hacking, and the one who reported him for hacking was banned permanently.

rewater 05/02/09 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

Chuck Norris has no dex

SSJHuran89 05/02/09 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

Chuck Norris outran Sonic the Hedgehog.

Ratatosk 05/02/09 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

Every 10 thousand years Chuck exhales, thus the swine flu. Chuck Norris was a beta character in Street Fighter 2, the beta testers thought that every button being an OHKO roundhouse kick was a glitch, it wasnt. There is no global warming, Chuck Norris is just bringing sexy back. Chuck Norris once made a snowman...on the surface of the sun. There is no gravity, Chuck Norris just thinks the Earth sucks. Jon Claude Van Dam once made of Chuck Norris, we now know Jon as Napolean Dynamite.

rewater 05/02/09 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

Chuck Norris once round-house kicked a salesman. Over the phone. The pen is mighter than the sword, but only if the pen is held by Chuck Norris

98bline 05/02/09 + PM | QUOTE | PERMALINK | REPORT

who is chuck norris and whats the big deal about him or is he just some fat guy?